sapinud

Only a sigh and that's all.

2008-04-07T23:32:00.000-07:00

Yeah, back again. Why? Maybe because the topic was bugging me so much that I could not just forget about it without letting it out.
No, I'm not heartbroken, and no one I loved has left me recently.
Well, It's all about my frustration each and every time I travel back to Iran. This time it was the airport.
Tell you what? I was dreaming about landing in Tehran's new airport. A better word to replace dreaming of course would be praying. Dreaming, praying, wishing, hoping- whatever the word- that this time they may have done something great, like they'd really cared. Well, most of the countries care, to have something exceptional, something specific to them, that they can brag about it and say it is the best in the world or at least in the region.
But Imam Khomeini Airport was nothing extraordinary. I was surprised to see how small it is, and if you say being small is not important then I'd say the architecture sucked and you'd be content enough not to argue anymore.
Well, I have let it out already. Special things in this country is left to history. The only thing left is frustration and a sigh. Yap a sigh and nothing more.

PS. The departure hall of Imam Khomeini Airport was nice. That was a relief.

Humans have no wings!

2007-10-22T23:23:00.000-07:00

Sure it's nice to be an angel. Always be kind, always do the right things, never feel jealous, never lie or become angry or always have that innocent angelic face that makes everyone think the only thing you don't have to be an angel is a pair of wings.

But the truth is that humans can never fly that high. It's earth that we belong, and being on earth means having all those things that we believe makes a monster out of us.

It's easy to say that humans have to wipe themselves out of their sins and try to make themselves like saints and angels, but again it's just easy to say. Humans are humans, and they have no wings.

But if you ask me, I'd say humans need not be changed, they need to be understood. They need to be talked to and they need to be healed. Get to talk to an angry human, and you may see how he/she is right, or let a jealous one open up and you'll understand how insecure he/she has been.

They say human should go after a pair of wings, but I'll say all we need is listening and understanding. Humans are humans, they are born without wings.

***

The curse of the the golden flower!

2007-10-17T19:50:00.000-07:00

Yeah this is a true story. A few days ago I received some flowers from Yaser and Reza and since I didn't have any vase I just put them in our drinking bottle.
I never have been lazy in taking care of my plants but this time I didn't change the water, and since the bottle was dark I couldn't see what was going on in there either.
After some days when the flowers were completely dry I decided to take them out. I threw out the flowers and put the bottle in the kitchen. Just imagine how disgusting they smelt!
A few hours later I felt thirsty and so I came to drink some water. Fortunately the water was near hand so I took some. I felt the water is tasting strange, so I took some more to see where the taste comes from. Still I didn't find out so I drank some more... And suddenly I remembered this was the water that held the flowers for some days. I couldn't decide on what comes next, I ran to the bathroom...
Yeah, I guess the flowers were having a hard time drinking that water all those days.

***

Long time since I have written something. My thesis is over and I'm dying having nothing to do. believe me!

Invisible

2007-07-04T00:28:00.000-07:00

I haven't written for almost one month now, because I was busy eating my own tail!!! Everyone has seen a snake doing that, right?! What happens at last? You come to your head, maybe you regret what you have done or maybe you're even more stupid and swallow your head too, it happens, you know!!! :P
Ok, I'll explain. I have to present my thesis in less than one month. And I'm sooooooo worrieeeed I can't study a line. You see I 'm chewing my brain now, I'm finished!!! No more head, bye bye.

Ok. I'm starting a charity now. Please wish me luck if you want me to survive. Oh no, there was something in my brain, I just hurt my teeth!!!!

***

One is taught by experience to put a premium on those few people who can appreciate you for what you are.-Gail Godwin

What's FAMILY?

2007-06-12T01:06:00.000-07:00

We eastern are often proud of ourselves, saying that family bonds are stronger in our region and claim that westerns lack the goodness of being close in a family.

But from time to time I find that they have discovered the essence that produces real families, in contrast with ours that is often culture, male priorities and religion.

Today I was watching one TV program on Discovery. The show belonged to a cooking expert who helped the families that had trouble having food together.

The mother of the family was busy with her 3 children, cooking and driving them to school, while her husband had a job away 75% of the time. She was asking for help.

The expert helped them with a monthly cooking plan, which everyone even the dad was involved; thus made cooking a teamwork and took out the whole burden from mom.

The interesting part was that, the expert said because dad is away most of the time, and this takes away family closeness, the father should cook the day he arrives for the time he is absent, so that the family could feel his presence.

It's so interesting. It is a fact that food is a very important matter in every family. You eliminate home cooking and you take away chances of a healthy family. But there should be family not a cook and a group of eaters.

"After all, it's not all about food, it's about family!"

***

I saw them flying in the sky today,

all the trees and all the birds, and I was hurried painting them before they were away...

Eat not your bro's flesh! There's always sheep!

2007-06-10T23:24:00.000-07:00

It just isn't fair to nature, don't you think?

***

In my native religion, Islam, talking behind someone's back is considered as eating your own brother's flesh. It's described this way so that everyone can see how gross this act is.

Still, this is the outer perspective of the act and just shows how talking bad about someone effects his/her reputation and the way people judge him/ her personally.

But what about the inner side? I've watched myself every time I talked behind someone's back carefully; I found out that I feel my heart is weaker and darker every time; and no matter how true what I say is, or how it does not effect him/ her, it's just that I feel some good part of me, some good energy inside, is gone; In fact I feel empty.

You see it effects me, it acts as a thief and takes away the best of me. I guess, I should take hold of my property tight, and just try to eat that animal flesh, ya!

***

The basic principle in human groups, is that everyone is of the same value. There should be no definition for value except being human and being alive. Nothing in the name of race, religion, beliefs, job, looks, skill, age and position, should give anyone a betterment over another. I know some people just hate being equal-cause they have made themselves believe that some are better- but there's one essence in all, and that is being human, and no one is there that is more human than another.

When I go and buy plants, I don't say I'll buy this one because it is better than the other. I know that every plant is different in its own way, and there's no point in comparing plants, is it? We choose them based on our priorities. (What level of care, weather, humidity, indoor or outdoor...)

There's been no fight ever on which plant is better. We all know that they are just different and incomparable. It's just the same with human beings. We are all different. And that makes us be able to live with each other.

***

Gilgamesh

2007-06-07T23:57:00.000-07:00

This picture shows the Orion Belt Stars, "It has been suggested that the three Belt-stars influenced the placing of the Pyramids at Giza, and it is certainly true that there is a remarkable correspondence of position between the Pyramids and the star."
Meaning, they made the pyramid that corresponded to the brighter star, bigger. These pyramids drive me insane. I wish I get to see them very soon.

***

گيلگمش،‌ به كجا مي روي؟
حياتي را كه جستجو مي كني نخواهي يافت
زيرا هنگامي كه خدايان انسان را آفريدند
مرگ را به انسان اختصاص دادند
و زندگي را در كف خود گرفتند

تو، اي گيلگمش،‌بگذار شكمت سير باشد

شب و روز شادمانه باش

هر روز را روز سرخوشي ات كن

شب و روز را به پايكوبي و بازي بگذران
بگذار جامه ات پاكيزه باشد
سرت را بشويند، ‌تنت را در آب شستشو دهند
كودكي را كه دستت را مي گيرد عزيز دار
و بگذار همسرت درآغوشت شادماني كند
اين است سرنوشت بشر

***

Right now I can't think of anything but a persian version of Gilgamesh, the first epic written by humans. I can't even think of the English version when Shamlu has already translated it...

***

Color of love

2007-05-30T02:02:00.000-07:00

Au Dessus de la Ville,1924 by Marc Chagall

I was browsing through some galleries today, and I came to see Marc Chagall's paintings. All of his works with those bright colors and loving couples gave me a real good mood lift. Paintings radiate their owners' character very well. I became curious about his life and so I searched for his biography. There, I found these quotes from him too, nice ones, don't you think?

"Only love interest me, and I am only in contact with things I love."

"All colors are the friends of their neighbors and the lovers of their opposites."

"In our life there is a single color, as on an artist's palette, which provides the meaning of life and art. It is the color of love."

"We all know that a good person can be a bad artist. But no one will ever be a genuine artist unless he is a great human being and thus also a good one."

***

Life is like a staircase to a great view, the upper you go, the wider you can see.

But why go step by step, when I've got my rainbow wings.

One day, I'll learn how to fly, and dance my way to the skies...

***

I wanna hug the world today! ;)

The Witch of Portobello

2007-05-23T22:47:00.000-07:00

I finished it today; the Witch of Portobello, the new book by Paulo Coelho.

I couldn't really decide if I could love this book until the last two chapters. Many of my long-made beliefs were shaken and it made me so uncomfortable at times, I couldn't comment on the book. But when I read the last chapters, I thought just like always, Paulo does it. Makes you move out of your so called peace and discover what's out of your comfort zone. Now I'd like to say, I loved the book; apart from the story, the way of narrating it by different people.

***

Changes in the arts differs from the change in science in one significant way. Whereas new technology usually displaces the old, and new scientific theory explodes the old, new art does not invalidate earlier human expression.

Obviously, not all artistic styles survive, but Picasso can not do to Rembrandt what the theories of Einstein did to those of Newton.

--The Creative Impulse, Dennis J. Sporre

***

Went to theatre this week after a long time. Loved the show, except that it was shortened a bit, I do not know for what reason.

Any way, theatre is alive, and that's what I love so much about it. :)

***

Thoughts that come n go...

2007-05-15T22:51:00.000-07:00

How should I focus my life, and on what? Why am I doing the things I do right now?
With every stroke of my brush where am I taking myself?

I watch myself carefully,

There's a moment you open your hands and your hair fly freely, every flower blooms, every plant grows, every bird sings and there are white butterflies dancing around you, you close your eyes, and you just breathe,

free, from yourself,

I wanna catch that moment,

She smiles when I show her my sketch, "There are many poses for a girl, why did you choose this one?" "Cause she's setting free" She smiles again, looking at me, and that's a deep smile...

***

Have you ever hugged yourself, running desperately for help because you were afraid of yourself? Have you ever told a story for the you-monster to go to sleep again, wondering will it ever go away? Or did you ever color the green you-monster in white so that everyone see the you-angel?

There's a fraction inside me, I keep on patching time after time. But there are moments when I close my eyes, going to my heart, telling it to help me set free from the dark side of me; and suddenly, there's a joy that fills up my chest, Keeping me safe and delivering me from the darkness of me.

***

There's nothing above being healthy. After 2 weeks, now I know what it is like to sit and walk without any pain, again. Thank God...

***

Learning my A.B.C!

2007-05-09T22:29:00.000-07:00

Love this picture. She's has love Divine with her, Doesn't it look like that?

(The picture belongs to National Geographic)

***

...I was behaving like a little girl who has just found out that the world isn't full of ghosts and curses, as grown-ups have told us. It's full of love, regardless of how that love is manifested, a love that forgives our mistakes and redeems our sins.

The witch of Portobello, Paolo Coelho

***

What are the A.B.C of being a good friend? I'm thinking...

Different flavors for sure...

2007-05-08T23:41:00.000-07:00

It's like the different tastes, different colors, different faces, different musical instruments... They all have to exist together to give a total experience.

Culture, should not exist because our is the best, or we shouldn't give it up for modernity; it should remain because that's what makes our world more interesting and way more beautiful.

And it gives so much energy to explore your own cultural roots, and learn from others too...

***

Capoeira is an African-Brazilian fight-dance and martial art created by enslaved Africans during the 16th Century. Participants form a roda (circle) and take turns playing instruments, singing, and sparring in pairs in the centre of the circle. The game is marked by fluid acrobatic play, feints, subterfuge, and extensive use of groundwork, as well as sweeps, kicks, and headbutts.

It's interesting to see the mixture of martial art with dance...

***

I said put those cloths in da freezer right now!

Yes, in the fridge, and no I'm not stupid! :P It's like this: You want a good iron (and you know best ironing happens when clothes are wet) , and you don't have time for ironing right after washing the clothes, what do you do? Righttt, put them in a plastic bag in the freezer. And you take them out when you got time...

Now, this sounds stupid; but it's not my fault. I read it in a website. CLEAN QWEENS' website! ;)

"I've got the right to be wrong!"

2007-04-25T01:08:00.000-07:00

Yes, I've got the right to be wrong, to be bad, to be silly, to be useless and to be all that nobody likes sometimes. And it's true that people should take off those judging glasses off there faces because they really don't look good on them! :P
Have somebody ever noticed that nothing ever stays the same? A certain criteria that was the norm of society in the past, is now unacceptable. Which one is right? Nobody knows!
And what should I do? Follow the norms of today? No. I want to live life the way I like it. And it's different for everybody. And I should sit down and think, and figure it out myself. And I'm not gonna go with the crowd and I'm not gonna copy other people's lives.
I'm gonna sit down and think. What way is most suitable to me. And which brings more harmony. And I gonna live out my OWN plan.
Yes, I'm gonna do that...

***

A few days ago one of my friends asked me a couple of questions which belonged to a psychological test. Based on my answers, she concluded that people tend to see me as a small bird.
Well I think it's 100% true and I'll tell you why right now:
Yesterday I was studying in one of the university's classrooms. Everywhere was so quiet and I had concentrated on the book until I heard a little bird coming in and sitting on the edge of the window.
It was just then that I noticed a small dragonfly going round and round in the room, obviously scared and escaping from the bird until it found its shelter under a seat near me.
The bird looked around the class for some time. Then it came in. He jumped down and started searching the floor. It came near me, not to mention that it wasn't afraid of me at all, found the dragonfly, took it in his mouth confidently and flew away.
And what was I doing there? The bird didn't CARE!!!!!
Anyway, I guess I wasn't big enough to save the dragonfly, (poor little thing came to me for help!) and no explanation helps unless I am perceived as a small bird; Small enough to not scare another little bird. That's logical, isn't it? These tests really help! :P

***

I have found out that being grateful in life doesn't mean to thank only when happy moments come to you, it's also to remember those good things in times of despair.

If you ever get disappointed in life try to remember the last time you were surprised. It shouldn't be that far.

Tea please...

2007-04-19T01:52:00.000-07:00

If you are a fan of tea, do try this different flavours of it with natural herbs. In fact -and as a result of buying these herbs- recently I've become obsessed with tea. Rose is excellent, Lavender is brilliant, and the list goes long, mint, Cinnamon, chamomile, Jasmine, saffron... And you can mix them, too. See how many different possibilities you have!

Live life, try different tea flavours!!!

I'm not advertising ok?

I'm going to have ma tea now, with rose flavour, ofcourse...

***

The Good won't help you at nights!!!

Have you ever waken up with a sound at night, everywhere quite and dark, thinking to yourself was that sound of someone's footsteps comming to your door?

I know you may say I am a coward, but then I'm not the only one, so I'll carry on; Everywhere is quiet and you can hardly breathe. What comes to your mind in first place? Well, the scary stories people told you, or, the scary movies you saw! No, I'm not gonna write any scary things now, because it's still dark and quiet here, and I'm a coward.

But for God sake, why should people make up these things, when there are people out there alone in the dark? :)) And the good movies never help you! No, they won't! You never wake up in the middle of the night thinking how brave was braveheart, do you? :P

I think I'm begining to sound silly, so for the sake of this blog, I'm gonna go sleep now! But imagine if the ghosts come to you at nights you can't kill them with knife coz it'll pass them... that's scary!!!! I'm going, ok...

Sylvia Lee Goh

2007-04-17T02:54:00.000-07:00

Today I went to painting class after two week. Getting myself to go was a real disaster. I was in a hurry and all my stuff were oily and unclean and I hadn't cleaned them for so long, so everything was a mess. I spilt the thapinten on the floor and the whole house is smelling like a painting studio now.
On the way I remembered that I have left my subject picture at home so I was thinking to go back and not go to class for one more week.
But I went. And there was an aged lady there, my friends said her name was Sylvia. I said nice to meet you and then made myself busy with the unfinished portrait I had.
Then she went out, and all my friends started talking about her eagerly, and then I asked who was her? and they said one of the famous Malaysian painters. And I was like why didn't you tell meeee first????
But she came back. And she came to see my work. And I enjoyed her telling me my mistakes.
And that was not all. She gave me a ride and some advice on how to become an artist.

That's lucky isn't it. :)

(The above picture is one of her paintings.)

***

I had coffee with a good friend today at Starbucks. It makes me feel good that I knew we'd be good friends the moment I saw her. I can recognise my friends before I start speaking with them. That's a mystery. :)

***

What's life?

2007-04-15T20:53:00.000-07:00

I read somewhere in the zen's tarot cards that the perfect attitude in life is of the fool's. A fool doesn't have any preconditions or any conclusions in mind. He just lives and since he knows nothing about outcomes he's got no worries.
The tarot was a mystical one. It was saying that we should live like a fool. Clearing our mind every once and just experiencing the life as it is, pure of any judgements or expectation.
It is very hard though. A fool is a fool, but if someone ordinary can become like that, he should be real wise and real brave I believe. Brave to face life and wise to know that by worrying no one can escape the ups and downs of life.
Maybe that's what it is: Life, and what should we do? LIVE those ups and DOWNS!

***

Singing has always seemed to me the most perfect means of expression. It is so spontaneous. And after singing, I think the violin. Since I cannot sing, I paint.-Georgia O'Keeffe

***

A few days ago I got a great gift from a very special person. I'm so glad she rememberd me. Last time I saw her we talked about philosophy and she told me she'll buy me some books to start. The books are great. I felt lucky to have these gifts from her. :)

***

Don't let a little dispute injure a great relationship.

Dalai Lama

Fear

2007-03-19T01:53:00.000-07:00

***

Fear is a sickness;

It will crawl into the soul of anyone who engages it...

Strike it from your heart...

Apocalypto

***

2007-03-13T01:02:00.000-07:00

Do you do what it takes for love? :)

***

Life is good!

2007-03-05T19:33:00.000-08:00

Life is good; When its hard, you know something good is going to happen soon, And when is easy you know a good challenge is comming up that will make you better and stronger.

***

Breathe!

The common pain...

2007-02-28T06:11:00.000-08:00

Today I saw a lot of my old friends in uni. Seeing friends always brightens up my day, but for a reason that I'll tell in a few lines, every friend that I saw today, caused me more and more sadness.

I heard the news in the morning, one of the students have suddenly died! First I heard it, I felt a bit sad but I soon got over it: I had not even seen the guy.

Then Yaser came and he told the news again and his eyes became sad and he said he knew the guy and then told me his nickname and how a lot of friends didn't even know his real name until he died. This time I started to think actually, that a young guy has died, and I started imagining that: seeing images of somebody young that has died, and the feeling of sadness didn't just go away in a moment.

This process continued, I saw his picture, then I heard of how he died, and then what kind of a guy he was, he was tall, they called him KLCC, and the image became clearer, and as I became more FAMILIAR, the pain started to grow.
And then the worst part happened: His parents don't know a thing about his death. They just think he is sick and they are coming to visit him. And his uncle was coming to see him, and he is on the way.

Well, the experienced changed just then. You see, I could put myself in their shoes and I could feel a very big pain that needs a lot of faith and a lot of patience to bear.

I really don't know what to say. In fact I don't know anything right now, why he died, where he goes, how his parents are going to cope, and a whole lot more questions that every time someone dies, comes to your head...

But I just know that I can pray to God, to make this pain easy to bear and soon to cope with, although I don't know how, because it's gonna be real hard, but the one I'm asking is bigger, and wise and giving and kind, and he knows the answer to all the things, and he's sure gonna help, even if I don't ask for it.

Babel

2007-02-02T22:13:00.000-08:00

I'm so full of life, how can death take that away from me?

Sunrise and sunset is one for the sun,

So why do we cry over sunset?

When we all know it's not going down, it's just going somewhere we cannot see...

----

Hand in hand with you,

Take me to where I'm no more,

and you are all that is...

me.03.02.07

***

Like a falling leaf...

2007-01-23T21:15:00.000-08:00

Like a falling leaf,

About to fall and have not fallen yet,

Sitting quiet, waiting eagerly for that sudden change,

I made myself deaf, I made myself blind,

Everywhere is dark now, and I'm reaching for that distant light...

Will I ever reach on time?

me. 24 .01 .07

***

Not yet having become a buddha,this ancient pine tree, idly dreaming.

Issa

***

Me!

2007-01-18T22:30:00.000-08:00

I haven't written for more than 6 months in this blog. But I'm a writer, every minute, every second, I write in my mind, every moment of my life... and who says someone who doesn't write on something isn't a writer?

I'm a poet, my pen is my breath and my paper is this world, I write poems as I dance this whole life through... Happy poems, sad poems, love poems, LIFE poems... And who says poems should always be read aloud?

And I'm a painter... I paint with my eyes... The sky, trees, flowers and all of these worlds... And who says you haven't painted all these? You paint what you see, you paint the way you see!

I'm a writer, a poet, a painter, but more often I feel being more like an eye! Sometimes I even forget about this whole me and just shrink into the size of an eye and stare... At these moments, time stops, voices dissolve, and I start sinking into what I am looking at; no!! I fly into what I'm starring at!

And who says I can not fly when looking into your eyes?

همه ي قاصدکاي جاده

2006-07-09T06:32:00.000-07:00

پنجره ي اتوبوس پاک قدرت فکر کردن رو ازم مي گيره. نگاه ميکنم، انگار که اولين و آخرين باره. همه چيز ميگذره، با سرعت من و اتوبوس. اگه بخوام هم فکر کنم هم نگاه، همه چيز رو نمي بينم. مخصوصاً اون قاصدکاي روي چمن، چمناي گوشه ي خيابون، پشت اون جدولاي راه راه سياه و سفيد. دستامو از پنجره ميارم بيرون، اتوبوس اينجا ايستگاه نداره، ولي کنار ايستگاه هم قاصدکي نيست. آروم ميشم يه پرنده، و مي شينم روي چمن روبروي قاصدکا. به آسمون نگاه مي کنم . قاصدکا مي خواين پرنده بشين؟

Bubblegum is not good for your teeth!

2006-07-02T12:15:00.000-07:00

Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.

Everybody's Free (to wear sunscreen)

***

اگه مي خواي آدم خوشبختي باشي بايد خوبيها را حسابي خوب ببيني، بديها رو يکم بد... فکر نکنم هيچ جيزي اون طور که به نظر مياد بد باشه. اينو وقتي به تجربه هاي گذشته نگاه مي کنم مي فهمم. اون روز به دوستم مي گفتم يه روزي 2 ثانيه به مرگمون به همه ي چيزايي که ناراحتمون کرده بود مي خنديم، بعدم 1 ثانيه مونده غصه مي خوريم که چرا با اون ناراحتي هاي الکي نذاشتيم از زندگي لذت ببريم

راستي دم مرگ تازه مي فهميم چطوري بايد زندگي مي کرديم

***

اون چشماي ورم کرده و صداي لرزونت، اعتماد به نفسي که نمي خواي شکسته بشه. شخصيتت زير پاهاي يک نفر له شده ميدونم. راستي ما آدما چقدر از همه چي خوب مراقبت مي کنيم الا شخصيت ديگران. دارم فکر مي کنم که بزرگترين گناه زير پا گذاشتن غرور يک نفره. چقدر گناه نکردن سخته، نه؟

Comparison

2006-06-24T03:59:00.000-07:00

A bunch of chickens were in the yard when a football flew over the fence and landed in their midst. A rooster waddled over, studied it, then said, “I’m not complaining, girls, but look at the work they are turning out next door.”

Haiku

2006-06-21T23:44:00.000-07:00

تو برق نگاه کسي تا حالا خواستيد زندگي کنيد؟ نستا، کوچولوي يک ساله ي آذربايجاني، چه برقي داشت چشماش و چه خوشگل مي خنديد. وقتي نگام مي کرد دلم مي خواست دلقک ترين آدم روي زمين باشم تا بتونم بيشتر بخندونمش، دست خودم نبود. براي اون خنده هاي استثنايي حاضر بودم هر کاري بکنم. کوچولو از چشاش معلوم بود که يکي از اون مهربون ترين آدماي دنيا قراره بشه. آدما با هم فرق دارن. بچه ها هم همينطور. نگاهها هم همينطور

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I clap my hands
and with the echoes
it begins the dawn — the summer moon. Basho

خدا رو شکر

2006-06-16T06:00:00.000-07:00

بعضي صحنه ها رو آدم فقط تو فيلما مي بينه. صحنه هايي مث آتش سوزي ساختمون، غرق شدن کشتي، سقوط هواپيما... لحظه هايي که هنرپيشه هاي فيلم در حال گريه و دعا هستن، هيجان فيلم رو خيلي بيشتر مي کنه. ولي اون صحنه ها رو فقط براي توي فيلم دوست داريم

امروز ما سوار آسانسور بيمارستان شديم، دو طبقه اومد پايين. بعد ايستاد و دو نفر ديگه سوار شدن. وقتي راه افتاد سرعت آسانسور يک دفعه زياد شد و بعد محکم به زمين خورد. چند دقيقه اي همه از ترس سکوت کرده بودن. بعد شروع کردن به بحث و دعوا که چرا اضافه بر تعداد سوار شدين. بعد هم که بيشتر طول کشيد همه قاطي کرده بودن و خونسردي خودشون رو از دست داده بودن. زنگ کمک رو هم مدام فشار ميدادن

منم از ترس مث بچه کوچيکا مامانمو بغل کرده بودم و تو دلم دعا مي خوندم. مي ترسيدم که هوا تموم شه. چون زياد بوديم. مامانم هم فقط همه رو آروم مي کرد

نميدونم چند دقيقه اون تو بوديم، ولي وقتي مسئولين بيمارستان درو باز کردن خيلي عصباني بودن. سر همه يک دادي زدن و به فرهنگ ايرانيا حسابي بد و بيداه گفتن. همه هم اون دو نفر مقصر رو نشون مي دادن. من که اومدم بيرون به آقاي عصباني گفتم دستتون خيلي درد نکنه. يک نگاهي کرد به من که يعني تو هم وقت گير آوردي وسط دعوا. ولي فکر کنم يکم هم آروم شد، چون ديگه داد نزد

:)خدا رو شکر

ديروز

2006-06-16T02:27:00.000-07:00

ديروز روز خوبي نبود. شايد هم از جنبه ي ديگه روز خوبي بود. چون که اتفاق بدي نيفتاد. به هر حال من يک چيز ياد گرفتم، که نذارم ناراحتي خودم روي ديگران هم تاثير بذاره. گاهي حالات دروني ما آدما روي زندگي ديگران اثر خوبي نميذاره. شايد يک ذره خودداري تو شرايط ناراحتي بهتر باشه

وقتي که ناراحتم دوست ندارم با کسي حرف بزنم. همش با خودم ميگم وقت زياده. الان مي شه رفت قدم زد يا دويد يا اينکه نهايت خوابيد. اينطور موقعها فکر آدم آزاد نيست و ممکنه حرفي بزنه با کاري کنه که طبيعي نيست و باعث ناراحتي ديگران ميشه. اينطور موقعها قضاوت آدم منصفانه نيست

بعضي وقتا که ديگران از اتفاقاي خوب زندگيشون برام تعريف مي کنند، اميد پيدا مي کنم، خوشحال ميشم. شايد بهتر باشه که هر آدمي دردش رو براي خودش نگه داره و خوبيها رو تعريف کنه. ما وقتي کنار هم زندگي مي کنيم بايد به هم اميد براي زندگي کردن بديم

البته هميشه آدم به يک دوست خيلي نزديک احتياج داره. يک نفر که حاضر باشه همه چيز رو بشنوه. بدون اون يک نفر آدميزاد نمي تونه به زندگي با آرامش ادامه بده

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مهم نيست که آدم به چي اعتقاد داشته باشه. مهم اينه که براي اون چيزي که بهش اعتقاد داره خالص باشه. اون خالص بودن آدمه که باعث رشد مي شه نه موضوع اعتقادش. يک بزرگي مي گفت اگه آدم روبروي بت هم از ته دل باشه جواب مي گيره. من حرفش رو قبول دارم

به نظر من، ارزش آدما به اين نيست که چه ديني دارن يا چقدر عبادت مي کنن يا چقدر کار خوب مي کنن. ارزش آدما رو اون پاکي و صفاي دلشون هست که تعيين مي کنه؛ اينکه وقتي با خودشون تنها ميشن چقدر دروغ و فريب کمتر تو کارشونه. هيچ کس کامل نيست. ولي براي من قشنگ ترين هدف تو زندگيم رسيدن به اون خلوص دله، اون لحظه اي که آدم ديگه به خودش دروغ نمي گه يا خودش رو گول نميزنه

اون آدم مي درخشه، مث خورشيد

I will learn as I watch...

2006-06-11T00:10:00.000-07:00

The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, nor the kindly smile, nor the joy of companionship; it's the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when he discovers that someone else believes in him and is willing to trust him with his friendship.–Ralph Waldo Emerson

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Not Knowing...

2006-06-09T00:23:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I want to run away from all the things I know, all the things people have tried and gave them the name of possible or impossible and all the shoulds and shouldn'ts that we have learnt.
Away from this crowd, I can find the freedom to live life like something I have discovered myself. A mystery I can experience, without expecting what should come next.

We have learnt the steps of life before we go through it. I want to live like Eve. Not knowing who I am, Not knowing where I am, Not knowing what I should do, Not knowing what I should expect. Just to live, not knowing how. Now, this should be a life!

For a man that never gets old...

2006-06-04T09:59:00.000-07:00

Years can be a waste if you just don't make the best out of it. Giving up the freshness and beauty of youth can be very frustrating if your heart gets old with your body too. Tomorrow is the birthday of a man I've never felt get old. Of course all of his hair is white now, but I believe he is among the unique people that have never stopped learning and moving towards new directions. He has kept everything fresh, even his attitude.

Happy Birthday Daddy! :X

Because all flowers are inperfect...

2006-05-24T12:44:00.000-07:00

If I was a flower, I'd like to be picked up by someone who loves me. He would be thrilled by my beauty and fragrance, and that was all I wanted to see! But the moment I knew that my thorns will definitely give my chosen one plenty of pain, I'd wish they would stay far away. The pain of being far from a loved one, wouldn't hurt me more than seeing him being hurt by my very own thorns.

...به تماشا سوگند و به آغاز کلام

2006-05-23T12:10:00.000-07:00

خيلي وقته که هيچي ننوشتم، ولي هر روز به وبلاگم سر مي زدم و نوشته هاش رو دوباره مي خوندم. وبلاگ قبلي يکم تکراري شده بود. اين شد که يک تغيير مکاني هم حاصل داديم براي روزنگار اقامت خودمان در زمين که اين روزها کمي که چه عرض شود به مقادير زيادي هيجان انگيز شده است

(.فکر مي کنم اينجا با فارسي نوشتن مشکلات زيادي پيدا خواهم کرد)

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.هنوز در سفرم

خيال مي کنم

در آب هاي جهان قايقي است

و من -مسافر قايق- هزارها سال است

سرود زنده ي دريانوردهاي کهن را

به گوش روزنه هاي فصول مي خوانم

.و پيش مي رانم

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